Tag Archives: heart

Journeying Towards TOMORROW

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Twilight descends darkening the horizon

Over is this day as night time settles in

Mindful in prayer of all God has done

Overwhelmed by his mercy, grace, and love

Reminiscing  of the days and years swiftly passing by

Renewing my heart in hope while dreams fill my mind

Onward I look towards a new dawning day

Walking in the sunshine with Jesus leading the way

Friday Verse Journal Colossians 2:6-7

 

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Through prayer, contemplation, and in my daily faith walk with Jesus, I am continually being revived and renewed by the Spirit. That is when I do take the time to just be with Jesus; to just be still and remember he is God. And then just let his cherished words seep inside of my heart and spirit. I have also been recently reminded through my personal Bible study to not let others judge me. Some judge and draw inaccurate conclusions without taking time to understand and I have see this a lot recently. It is very hurtful but there is no point to try to explain to some because I can tell they are just set on what they believe.

For my part, I am trying my best to do what I believe God is teaching me through my personal study, sermons, daily endurance, and the wisdom of other believers. Along with that I am being challenged to continue on a Thankfulness Journey which I have embarked on even when trouble brews and precious plans go awry.  On the other hand, God has shown me love and gentleness through the love, kindness, and generosity of others. Due to a recent blizzard for instance, a loving family took me into their home providing warm shelter and warm meals when I could not safely travel home. Therefore, God gives me plenty of reasons to remain thankful.

Again, this is two days late, but I am being determined not let another obstacle get in my way of posting a new verse for this week. As I have said, I am making a determined effort to continue with the attitude of thankfulness in my mind, soul and heart.

Colossians 2:6-7 (Holy Bible English Standard Version):

“Therefore, as your received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in him, rooted and built up in him and established in the faith, just as you were taught, abounding in thanksgiving.”

Friday Verse Journal: Psalms 119:9-11

 

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Hooray!! It is a new year; a time of new beginnings and making new resolutions. Through various trials and unforeseen difficulties, I often have to stop and remember that God is beside me all the way every day and he is continually blessing me. I just don’t always fully realize this but I know he is. He never gives up on his people and I in turn I am resolved to never give up on him. I don’t always understand his ways and his wisdom is much greater than mine. I need to just keep trusting and believing in him through Jesus, his one and only son. I also need to continually stay and abide in his true word and let him show me the way to go in what to do, and what to say. That doesn’t mean that I can be perfect, on my own I will never accomplish that and I know that my inner being is full of many faults as I do not always perceive nor understand what God is gently teaching me. But it is God’s good guidance and love through the Lord Jesus, that helps me journey in the right direction and that is towards heaven, God’s everlasting kingdom.

Psalms 119:9-11 (Holy Bible New International Version):

“How can a young person stay on the path of purity? By living according to your word. I seek you with all my heart; don’t let me stray from your commands. I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you.”

A Letter, a Journey, and a Gift of the Heart

 

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Time frame: late 1980’s. While attending college in Minnesota I embarked on a quest to find my cousin, Kathy whom I last seen at age 10. I had told my roommate about her and she encouraged me to try to find her. We last saw each other when we were 10 years old. When we were five, my mother took a photo of us in the kitchen. When we were 10, we visited on the front lawn on a warm summer evening and I piled kittens on her lap. I thought those kittens were so cute but I am not sure she liked having them all on top of her. While I grew up on a farm in Wisconsin, Kathy lived in southern California. Kathy’s parents divorced when she was 11; she could not return to visit her Wisconsin relatives. She also couldn’t travel easily because she had cerebral palsy and used a wheelchair. My immediate family never traveled as far as California. We lost contact with Kathy during the years following the divorce. Although I only met my cousin just a few times in my life, I often wondered about her.

Determined to find Kathy, I met with my grandmother who had written her occasionally and she had written her. But, time again passed so my grandmother could only give me Kathy’s last known address. To make things more complicated, my cousin had married acquiring a different last name. My grandmother couldn’t remember her new last name. Not wanting to give up, I wrote Kathy a heart-felt letter using the wrong address and the wrong name mailing it with a stamp and a sincere prayer. I needed to believe that God would answer my prayer.

Weeks and even a month passed. One day, I arrived at my apartment and found a letter from California.  The return address contained an unfamiliar last name but as soon as I saw “Kathy”, I knew it was from my cousin. I could hardly believe it.  Eagerly, I opened the letter and found that Kathy had poured out her soul in that long, detailed letter. She described some incredible events in her life. She unexpectedly gave birth to a baby girl.

A number of doctors told her that she couldn’t get pregnant. Sometime later, Kathy began experiencing extreme pain and was taken to an urgent care clinic. She was misdiagnosed as having a kidney stone or a bladder infection. The very next day and while on medication for a bladder infection, she returned to the clinic due to increasing pain. She was in labor and was rushed to the hospital by ambulance. Kathy and her husband were shocked, amazed, and overjoyed giving thanks to God for the unexpected and miraculous birth of their daughter, Kristie.

Later Kathy told me that she and her husband tried to revisit her urgent care doctor who had misdiagnosed her.  With her newborn daughter in her arms, Kathy wanted to show him her beautiful “kidney stone.” They were promptly told that the doctor was no longer at that clinic. Can you imagine the shock and surprise of everyone in that waiting room?

I wrote again and we began corresponding; by letter and by phone. We became more than cousins but friends who could talk about anything.  While Kathy told me about her married life and cute stories of her young daughter, I told her about my job working with adults with developmental disabilities, family in Wisconsin, and my personal life.  We shared about our common faith in Jesus. While Kathy had married, I had remained single which enabled me to do some limited traveling taking in time and limited budget considerations. At this point though, most of my solo journeys were short excursions to Wisconsin to visit family and friends. I had made occasional trips to Iowa too. Like I said, limited traveling.

Several years later, Kathy invited me to visit her in California and I was terrified, “I actually have to get on a plane?” Later and with lingering fear I was up for the adventure of traveling cross country. My first journey to San Diego was a direct flight taking about a three and half hours across mostly sunny skies; I watched from my window the changing view of cities, forests, and mountains.  Farms resembled quilt blocks of grassland and crop fields.

When the jet journeyed downward, the rising topaz-tinted desert appeared on one side of the plane and the deep-blue ocean on my side. Sun rays brightened the clear sky and glimmered on the ocean’s surface making the scene sparkle like a sapphire gem. This picturesque view showed me God was there and was blessing my journey. Apprehensive though, I braced for the final approach as the jet glided towards land and jolted as it touched ground.

At the airport gate, I gathered my belongings, and walked through a curving tunnel. With nervousness, I rounded the last corner stepping into the terminal. The afternoon sun glistened through the airport’s vaulted windows and in the midst of a blinding glow; I glimpsed my cousin in her wheelchair. After 17 years we had reunited. I hurried to give Kathy the warmest hug I could.

“Welcome cousin,” she said in such a warm voice that I forgot my shyness.  Kathy, a sensitive and loving person and we soon felt like sisters and even best friends. During this visit I became acquainted with Kathy’s husband and daughter. While I visited that first time, we managed to visit both Disneyland and SeaWorld. Surprisingly, Disneyland was a disappointment especially for Kathy. Many exhibits and attractions would advertise that they were “handicap accessible” but they really weren’t so; at least not for someone who is in a wheelchair. We did find one interesting attraction that was truly accessible; the Mark Twain Steamboat ride. Kathy was easily able to maneuver onto the boat and find a safe place to park her chair. We all enjoyed the gentle and scenic excursion along their makeshift “Mississippi River”.

SeaWorld proved to be more interesting as all wildlife exhibits and presentations there were truly accessible for Kathy; this made our visit much more enjoyable for all. While there we saw two orca whales, Shamu and Baby Shamu who we learned was just a few weeks old.  We could see Mother Shamu teaching Baby to swim and turn in the large pool. Another highlight was seeing the splashing, playful dolphins. As I held onto my four year old cousin, Kristie, one eager dolphin flew in to water to our side showering us in a huge spray of water. My little cousin was soaked from head to toe but she delightedly reached out to pet the friendly animal.

This one visit turned into many. We went on adventures together forging new memories and deepening our relationship. We also shared bus-related misadventures and trips to the beach on warm, sunny days. In one bus related mishap, Kathy was stuck, mid-air, on a broken bus lift and we waited hours under a steamy summer sun for her to be rescued. In another misadventure, we boarded the wrong city bus but did not realize this until the bus turned onto Eucalyptus Street heading in the wrong direction. We then got off the bus as soon as we could and endured a long walk home in the dark as no more buses were available that late in the day.

Also taxis were not an option as I was not strong enough to transfer Kathy into a car seat. During this time, accessible transportation options for my cousin were very limited. To keep ourselves calm, we kept up a steady conversation and prayed for God to keep us safe. Today, I don’t remember what our conversation entailed; I just remember the long walk along those California streets in the darkness like venturing through a dimly lit and unfamiliar tunnel. Also, Kathy at this point used a manual wheelchair so I pushed her along until we were safely home. I have no doubt that Jesus was watching over us during that journey in the darkness.

Some years later, we camped on Mount Palomar where the sun-filtering forest surrounded us like a colorful, woven blanket handmade by God; it was a quiet refuge from the demanding world far below us. We basked in nature’s peacefulness venturing through the woods, picnicking, and relaxing around a campfire.  We visited Mount Palomar Observatory and stayed up late looking through large telescopes, set up in a mountain meadow, to view stars, planets and nebulas. Kathy’s husband and I took turns pushing Kathy’s wheelchair through the long grass so she could gaze through as many telescopes as she wanted. It was a special evening of admiring God’s glowing creations, glittering like jewels embedded in the deep night sky.

The tranquil, emerald-colored mountain was a vivid contrast to the traffic-filled streets, and the sun-scorched climate of Kathy’s everyday life. Years later, she and her family moved to Washington State where they’re amid perpetual greenery. Kathy’s daughter, Kristie, who is an artist and nature lover often shoots photos depicting nature’s inspiring beauty. She once asked me, “Do you remember how green it was on Mount Palomar? Well, it’s like that here but it’s everywhere.” The experience of Mount Palomar affected us all and remained a cherished memory in our hearts.

Over the years we’ve persevered through life’s heartaches and disappointments praying and encouraging each other. In the same year, Kathy’s father passed away, my mother unexpectedly died; together we faced each family holiday with grieving hearts and feeling the emptiness of our parents being gone too soon.

We also encouraged each other in new aspirations. In recent years, Kathy, growing in confidence and a desire to do more in her life, took on the tasks of completing her college degree and exploring professional work opportunities. We both embraced academic challenges and will often challenge each other in trivia and word games.

Several summers ago, I visited Kathy in her Washington home and we again indulged our adventurous spirits by hiking around woodsy Lake Padden. It was a long, winding journey with a paved trail circling the shimmering lake. The thick green forest surrounded us like a warm and familiar cloak. I instantly remembered Mount Palomar. Kathy now used a motorized wheelchair and could easily propel herself up and down the sloping hills of that curving trail. However, I worried about the battery losing its charge as we wandered along.   This had happened before with one of Kathy’s previous motorized chairs. Thankfully, that had been a lighter wheelchair; I just needed to switch the gears to manual and push her home.

But now if that battery died, I realized I wouldn’t be able to push her back home again. Not this time as the chair was much heavier. But Kathy knew her wheelchair and her battery readings better than I; she was confident and eager to continue our trek. We finished our journey and with a beaming smile, she exclaimed, “That was my first rolling hike.”

When I think of Kathy and the friendship we share, I am reminded of God’s words about treasures in heaven when in Matthew 6:20-21 of the Holy Bible we are told, “but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroy and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is there your heart will also be”. I went on a quest to find a lost cousin. In return, I had found a new sister and a lifelong friend. Kathy’s friendship is an unseen treasure granted from heaven and a precious gift instilled in my heart.

 

Friday Verse Journal I Samuel 16:7b

 

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At times, I feel a sense of rejection and also failure. I find this in relationships, sometimes at work, and in my endeavors to be a writer. Many times this is because I have made an error or fall to sin. Other times it is because others only see my outward appearance and my outward actions without understanding my heart or my thoughts. And often the world will only see what it wants to see, remain unkind, and not seek understanding. I know there others who may feel that way too. Only God can see us on the inside. Only God can understand the depths of our thoughts and our hearts and in God’s lovely eyes we are accepted into his infinite love. God can see what others cannot see; God can see the beauty hidden deep inside of you and me.

I Samuel 16:7b (Holy Bible English Standard Version):

“For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outside appearance but the Lord looks on the heart.”

Learning to be CONTENT

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Calm temperance and being at quiet peace
with how God had lovingly made me.
Open-minded and patient with God’s perfect will
which over darkness and evil will prevail.
Not being envious nor deeply desiring
fine splendid things which this world is offering.
Trusting in God’s timely and gracious provisions;
his love, unending mercy, and sovereign wisdom.
Eyes firmly focused on the Lord Jesus Christ
bound in unshakable hope of everlasting life.
Never forgetting God’s ultimate plan for me and you;
remembering his promises will all come true.
Thankful heart while living in God’s good grace
knowing one day we’ll see him, face to face.

Keeping my HEART on Jesus

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Also in my own quiet way I am trying to keep my heart centered on Jesus in my effort to push away the gnawing pain that keeps trying to seep it’s way in. I need to let Jesus, my only true hope, dwell and shine in there so that he can push all the darkness away:

Humble yet hopeful with
Earnest love and joyful
Admiration and anticipation of
Resurrected Jesus, the Only
True Son of God

Friday Verse Journal Psalms 16:5-6

 

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Today, I am trying hard to keep my eyes and heart focused on the Lord and the goodness that he bestows on me. And today as I thumbed through a daily verse app on my phone, my mind suddenly recalled this gem of a verse which has instructed and comforted me before:

Psalms 16:5-6 (Holy Bible New International Version):

“Lord, you alone are my portion and my cup: you make my lot secure. The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance.”

Friday Verse Journal 1 Samuel 16:7b

 

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Here is a verse that reminds me that God is not like man in that man puts so much emphasis on one’s outward appearance and physical beauty but rather he pierces  my inner being and gazes into my heart: He understands me better than I know myself.

1 Samuel 16;7b (Holy Bible New International Version):

“The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance but God looks at the heart.”

Guest Writer Kathy B July 5, 2014

 

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Here is another segment from my guest writer, Kathy B, who continues to find inspiration in life and desires to share what she has discovered here on my blog. As I have mentioned before, she is a poet and a writer who writes with her heart and often draws on unique experiences in her own life. Furthermore, she lets herself be inspired by others who have somehow reached out and touched her in their own special way. In this latest post, she shares about someone else’s life who is having a profound impact on her. The unique individual she writes about has touched and moved her heart:

Morrie – an Introduction

Morrie Schwartz was a special man, a most popular instructor at Brandeis University, and the center of the story. Mitch Albom was a student of Morrie’s some sixteen years before; the terminal diagnosis came in 1994. The writing is an interesting combination of present day (1994 -95), flashbacks and introspection. While flipping aimlessly through the channels late one night, Mitch heard a name from his past – Morrie Schwartz and he sat down to listen to Ted Koppel of Nightline. The program focused on hard news and human interest stories.

An Explanation of Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS)

This particular segment was about his beloved instructor who was afflicted with ALS, Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS), also called “Lou Gehrig’s Disease.” It is a neurodegenerative disease that little by little affects nerve cells in the brain and the spinal cord. Motor neurons go from the brain to the spinal cord and from the spinal cord to the muscles throughout the whole body. The constant erosion of the motor neurons in ALS eventually leads to their demise. When the motor neurons quit functioning, the ability of the brain to work and control its muscles becomes impossible; this often leads to complete paralysis. The terribly wicked part of the condition is that one’s intellectual ability remains as sharp as ever while the body withers and dies. The words in the book aptly describes it like hot candle wax that melts the motor neurons.

Life’s Curve Balls

Mitch was shocked because Morrie probably had a year or less to live. It hardly seemed fair! Morrie had such a passionate zest for life. Memories from years before flooded his mind. He recalled his graduation; he had promised to keep in touch with him as he said goodbye to him. Mitch felt a stab of regret as he realized that he had not kept his word. The reality of life had a way of intruding on dreams – changing them. Prior to and right after Mitch graduated from college, he had dreams of becoming a great musician. Largely empty taverns and the death of his Uncle had a way of changing things. He began to care more for healthy paychecks and the security that money in the bank brought to him. He returned to school and obtained a Master’s Degree in Journalism. He wrote stories about celebrities and famous athletes, covered major sporting events such as Wimbledon etc.

The Request and the Teacher’s Final Lesson

Mitch began to question himself. He found himself making the trek to Logan Airport to visit Morrie who lived in a small, quiet suburb of Boston. Mitch was shocked and dismayed at the sight of his ill instructor. On the other hand, Morrie greeted him as if no time had passed at all between the student and the teacher. The visits became weekly – every Tuesday. These visits became easier when the newspaper’s union went on strike and Mitch lost his job for a while. On the third such visit, Morrie asks Mitch to share his story with the world. The gravity of the task and Morrie’s death hits him anew. He was about to lose his teacher, his beloved friend as was the rest of the world. However, before Morrie left this world, he had his final, most profound lesson to teach, and he entrusted Mitch to record his words and to share the lessons contained within them.

Time and Wisdom

            Morrie Schwartz has always been a kind, generous and fun loving man. For instance, he danced the Lindy to the rock tunes of the late 1970’s. He did not care a bit if it seemed out of place to do so. As a teacher and instructor, he always had time to give to his students. It may be help with an assignment or guidance with a personal problem. Even with his final days quickly approaching, he spared the time to take an interest in world news and current events and other people. Erik Erikson called this generativity – passing on loving compassion to others as well as history and life lessons to others. Some choose to go through life stagnant, caught in the rather unimportant trappings of life: money, selfish wants and possessions.

Morrie did not wallow much in self- pity. He gave himself five minutes each morning to be sorry for himself. Afterwards, he got on with the day. Gratitude was always expressed; the tough times were met with positivity and good humor. Those were his keys to life; he did his best to live each moment to its fullest, making the decision not to wait until the last minutes of his life to explore its true meaning. This article was based on the book and true story Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Albom.