Missing My Dad

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No more long Sunday drives

Through the quiet countryside.

No more seeing his smiling face

When I find him in his favorite place.

No more watching Mr.Green

Or some other PBS comedy

And hear him laugh aloud

With his laughter filling the house.

No more hearing sometimes stern and sometimes gentle voice;

It is silent now like a deep, empty void.

No more seeing him hunched over in the garage

Determined to fix the truck, tractor, or car.

No more watching him in the fields

Planting, harvesting, or tilling.

No more playing with him outside

Teaching me to play ball, oh how he tried.

Dad could coach me to hit here and there

But I was not meant to be a softball player.

No more fishing at the little pond

Where once I caught a trout with my own rod.

Dad said my fish was too small

So he unhooked it and gently let it go.

No more summer celebrations or holidays

To see him so joyful and to wish him Happy Birthday.

No more waiting in the dark and the late night

To see his car arrive by the beam of his headlights.

For many nights I had laid in bed wide awake

Until I knew dad was home from work and was safe.

Also no more seeing him suffer in great pain

As illness riddled his once strong and tall frame.

For he lived with increased pain for years;

Some days were good but others full of hurt and fear.

But now I know he lives in another world far above

Inside of God’s great grace and amazing love.

He is alive and well in the lofty realms of heaven

Living forever in God’s everlasting kingdom.

Loss of a Dream

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The loss of a dream

Drains my hope until the Lord

inspires my still soul.

He opens my eyes

With hope renewed and keeps my

Heart forever true.

Focused on him in

His home above, I’m anchored

In faith and his love.

He remains in my

Heart from morning’s dew and through

Night’s shadowy rule.

Now onward I go

Through this new day, trusting

In him all the way.

When Feelings take Charge

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When unsuppressed feelings take charge,

I often overindulge my yearning heart.

Oh yes, that’s the deep danger of

Releasing myself in worldly lust and love.

And when that passion ceases and finally ends

My soul is torn and empty once again.

I need to safely guard my wayward heart

In everlasting truth and the way of the Lord.

He wants me to turn and to flee far from sin

Knowing it breaks and tears my heart within.

It burdens my spirit and leaves great pain

With feelings of guilt and hidden shame.

Oh such sad deep grief I often do bear

When I’ve fallen into sin’s deceptive snare.

Time to be still and quietly kneel before

The Lord admitting in my own words,

“Lord, I have sinned again  and am so sorry;

Please do forgive me and still love me.

Help me to turn away on this new day

From this great sin that impedes my way.

Help me to do my best to live and be still

Inside the pleasant boundaries of your good will.

Thank you for sending Jesus to give

His own life so that I may forever live.

For upon that cross oh so many years ago

He paid for all the wickedness of my sinful soul.

Help me to constantly remember you through this new day

And lead me Lord renewed as I journey along life’s way.”

Ode to Jesus my Savior on this New Day

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Ode to Jesus my Savior on this bright new day,

A new morning of hope beneath a glorious sun.

While earth is gently touched by its’ gleaming rays

As a sign that God desires to kindly bless everyone.

For beneath the rising sun’s fair brilliance and warmth,

We can reach out to grasp and hold onto everlasting hope.

As when we’re kept warm in a frigid winter near a fireside hearth,

We live in peace and safety under the eyes of God’s watchful scope.

Because within the Lord’s provision, his loving plan,

He devised the only way to perfectly save

The sinful and often hurting man

Through his own Son Jesus whose life on the cross he gave.

Now with the unquenchable hope of a never ending tomorrow,

We can live today free of pain, oppressing fear, and lasting sorrow.

Thinking about my Dad on his Birthday

 

Me and My Dad

Today, June 4th, is my dad’s birthday; he was born in 1942 and passed away when he was just 58 years old.  It is hard to believe that he has been gone from our lives now for 15 years. My dad had this quiet personality but with a very hearty laugh. When something struck his funny bone, he would roar in joyous laughter that echoed through the house. He worked for many years in an iron mine and later for another 10 years in a tire factory. Additionally, he farmed and sometimes was self-employed as an electrician. He did everything he could think of to pay the bills and make ends meet. I am convinced that his very best friend in life was his older brother John who was born in 1941 and also passed on in 2010. Even though they lived far apart in their adult years, they shared a special closeness.

My dad also possessed a sense of adventure and wonderment. In 1969 when man first stepped on the moon, my dad watched enthralled. He held me on his lap and pointed to the TV, “See, Becky, they’re walking on the moon.” When I was still very little, he liked to swim and let me ride on his stomach while he laid on his back floating. Years later, he showed his sense of adventure by taking us on a family trip out west. We traveled as far as Utah and visited family there. Other highlights of that trip included seeing Mt. Rushmore and camping at Yellowstone National Park. We spent many summer weekends camping in Hatfield.

As a father, he was stern when he thought he needed to be but also very loving when someone most needed it. At least that was how he was to me. And his gift of joyous laughter with twinkling eyes will always stay with me. He could regale in humorous animation a lively story of his childhood. His Christmas Skis story comes to mind. He also loved watching a comedy or a movie that could really bring out that laughter. But other times he would watch a movie and give it more serious thought. We once had a conversation about the old Christmas movie, It’s a Wonderful Life. Through the course of the movie, the main character, George Bailey (played by Jimmy Stewart) is very unhappy and in a dire predicament although through no fault of his doing. The situation seems hopeless to George and he doesn’t want to continue in his life. Near the end of the movie, George is happily running down the street. His dire situation had not yet changed. My dad puzzled over this saying, “His situation had not changed and yet suddenly he was happy.”

“No,” I slowly commented in my own quiet way, “His situation hadn’t changed; just his perspective.”

“Yeah,” my dad’s face lit up now satisfied, “His perspective changed and THAT was the point of the movie.”

My dad’s laughter and his quiet moments of wonder and thoughtfulness are gifts that I will always treasure in my heart.

 

Born

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Born to die to hopelessness; born to live in God’s amazing grace.

Born to suffer and endure; born to rest in God’s warm embrace.

Born into worldly sin; born to learn of God’s great love.

Born to be forgiven by the Lord who lives far above.

Born to walk on this earth in humility and trials, yet in hope.

Born to be a light by showing the eternal brightness of tomorrow.

Born to feel pain, shed tears and quietly weep

Letting God gently wipe our tear streaked cheeks.

Born to live in renewed joy and peace today

While walking in God’s love throughout the outstretched day.

Born to endure the long nights when sleep does not come easily.

Born to quietly lie still while the Lord keeps us company.

Born not to remain stuck and glued to our hurting present or past

But to thrive in lasting hope while onto Jesus, holding fast.

Born to wait ever so trusting and ever so patiently

Knowing that one day, Jesus’ shining face, we’ll finally see.