Tag Archives: Remember

How do I Love you Lord?

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Revered Poet Emily Dickenson once wrote,

“How do I love Thee? Let me count the ways.”

Well Lord Most High, how do I love you?

Let me lift your name in thankful praise.

How I so love you in the morning

When the sky is sea-blue and sun is brightly shining.

I also love you through the long and winding day

And when I am confused and don’t where I am going,

You ever so gently lead me the way.

I also love you even as the rain is softly strumming;

For I know there may be a rainbow later today.

I love you too when the sun is softly setting;

Although it hides below the horizon,

You promise never to leave but always stay.

I still remember Lord, how by grace you sent your

 Son Jesus even though I kept on sinning.

And you let him die to atone for my wicked ways.

Finally, Lord, I love you through the deep night when

 I am restless, weeping, or so vividly dreaming;

With love, you keep silent watch until once again, I wake.

Writing 101 Day 7: Starting with a Quote about Hope

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“But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.”

Holy Bible NIV

I have heard it once said, “Joy is a choice; choose joy.” As I awake on any given morning, gaze out the window, I can choose to be joyful or not. Well, I am also learning along life’s pathway that hope is also a choice. I can wake up on any morning and decide to be hopeful or not. Admittedly, there are days when choosing to be joyful or hopeful are very hard to do when I am in the middle of a difficult situation or perhaps, when I have been disappointed because my latest dream was slashed to pieces.  Or I wake up realizing I have a huge problem.

Several months ago, that is exactly what happened; I woke up one spring morning and found I had no electricity in the house. I wondered around checking all the rooms. As I entered the kitchen and looked out the window, I found a huge problem; a huge tree had fallen during the night and had pulled the electrical wires out of my house. It damaged an entire wall. The lower interior south wall looked fine but once I stepped outdoors, the story changed. A large section of the outer wall was missing and a window from the attic had also flown out.  I was much shaken and wasn’t sure what to do first. Being on my own, there is no one to call for help.  I started with the city utility office and went from there. They had already found my fallen tree and turned off power to my house until I could make repairs. I had to arrange for emergency tree removal, have my wall repaired, fix the electrical hardware, and then I could have power. But all of that could not be done in one day. Completing all the repairs was a long process in which I needed to work with my insurance company and pay my deductible to have everything done.  Also due to lack of power, I was temporarily displaced from my home. My insurance company was really good and paid for my temporary stay in a hotel where I also received hot breakfasts.  Additionally, the hotel was near my worksite so getting to work every day was not a problem. No doubt, God was good as he kept blessing and providing for my needs.

But as this process continued on, it was easy to lose sight of hope. I was so anxious for everything to be fixed in an instant and life be back to normal. My mother did tell me more than once that I was too impatient. The practice of being patience is a lifelong endeavor for me. How I wish I could hear my mom’s gentle and cheerful voice one more time.  Also, my finances tend to be tight so this personal catastrophe was a huge drain. I felt sick to my stomach as I contemplated this latest mess in my life. Furthermore, I was displaced from my home over Mother’s Day weekend. Both my parents have passed away and I didn’t receive the blessing and honor of becoming a mother. Therefore, not only was I temporarily “homeless”, I also was all alone while everyone else I could think of was celebrating and spending special time with their families.  The weather did not help matters either as it was raining with heavy gray clouds in the air; the charcoal gray scene outside my large hotel window seemed to deepen my gloomy mood. So I rested on the unfamiliar bed in tears.

The next day, Sunday which was the dreaded Mother’s Day, on my calendar, I did manage to muster the willfulness to attend church and tried to stay close to God in quiet prayer. Because my own mother wasn’t here and I wasn’t a mom, I knew I would be spending most of the day all alone; a sense of hopelessness, like a large boulder, had parked itself in my stomach. Considering the special family holiday, everyone I met at church had plans to spend with their loved ones.  So, as expected, I returned to my home away from home all alone. But something made today different from yesterday. I was struck by a sense of restless;  felt as if God was nudging me and saying, “Come on, you don’t want to stay cooped up in here all day.” For by now, the weather outside had gradually changed. The dark, soaking rainstorms of yesterday and this morning had finally dissipated. In place of the storms was a bright blue sky beneath brilliant and warm sunshine. No, I didn’t want to stay indoors all day.

I wandered outside where I could smell the fresh spring air and feel the warmth of the sun wrap my bare arms. Since this area was new to me I felt adventurous enough to embark on a new path where my footsteps have never wandered before. Although the highway was nearby, I was also surrounded by the greenery of the ground, the bushes, and the trees.  Singing birds glided and swooped high above me. I smelled sweet lilacs along the way which was a tender reminder of my childhood home where each spring new lilacs bloomed along the road. As I walked along, I felt hopefulness trying to return to calm and soothe my aching soul.  It was as if the Lord was quietly speaking inside of my heart and kindly telling me it was my choice to make. I could continue this day in a sense of gloom and, “oh, woe is me” attitude or I could choose to hope and firmly believe that all will be well and fine; I just needed to continue to trust and believe over time. So with a silent prayer and taking a long, slow breath, I resolved that today I would choose hopefulness.  With a lighter heart and a burst of cheerful energy, I felt that once immovable boulder in my stomach slowly melt away. I continued along, letting God gently speak to me. And being a writer of poetry, I sensed a new poem forming in my thoughts. Often I write poems as a way to remind myself of the little milestones between the Lord and me; my writings are like a memory album of my walk in faith. God had meant for me to remember this day and how I emerged from this long tunnel of dark gloom to embrace renewed hope now resting inside of me.

After the Rain

The sun brightly appears after a stormy spell

Letting everyone know that all again is well.

The shrilling wind has lessened its’ churning

While the pelting rain has ceased it’s drumming.

Trees, shrubs, flowers, and everything green

Is bathed in wetness on this summery day in Spring.

A new fresh scent permeate  the air;

A welcomed sign that the earth is renewed and fair.

Such a sweet blessing to remember and realize

That the loving Lord is in charge: rain, snow, or sunshine.

And at night when the orange setting sun is dipping low,

He stays in charge of all our nights, and our hopes for tomorrow.

Becky’s Haiku: Remembering God, My Strength and Song

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As I walk and stroll

Along, I think of God who

Is my strength and song.

he has created

 by his own power all things:

earth, the moon, and stars.

he has revealed in

his book, chapter and verse; he

made the universe.

Nothing good was made

Without him; through his word filled

With power from within.

He gives breathing life

To all men and eternal

Life through his own Son.

He is like a love

 Song singing deep inside of

Me and whispering.

He sings in my heart

Ever quietly and through

The gentle, flowing breeze.

I also hear him

By the lake and sea as the

Waves lap peacefully.

And in the forest

When the birds sing, I can’t help

But remember him.

Always reminding

Me of his love and peace, so

Content, I can be.

So today I will

Stroll along and remember

God, my strength and song.

Easter: A Time to REJOICE

Easter Cross

Remember Jesus nailed on the cross

Ever willingly, he suffered and died for us

Joyfully he served and gently he shared

Of God’s love for man on earth

Individually and personally, he wants to be

Compassionate, forgiving Savior for you and me

Ever humbly he bowed his head and died on Good Friday

  And rose victoriously on Easter Sunday.

 

Philippians 4:4-5 (Holy Bible New International Version):

“Rejoice in the Lord always, I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near.”

Poetry 201 Assignment 5: Fog, Elegy, and Metaphors

 

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In this latest poetry assignment, we were asked write about fog in an elegy which is often about an irreversible loss; like something you can never get back. And we’re to include metaphors in our writing. In contemplating this, I felt compelled to write about one of my deepest losses which often feels like a fresh wound that never heals. Just reliving this in my mind brought new and uncontrollable tears but I I felt some relief in writing about it and in that I am finally sharing this story. I have no doubt that it is God who comforts and gently helps me to remember even the most secret memories that are buried the deepest inside of me. I do have the comfort of knowing that she is safe and happy with Jesus in heaven. 

Trying to Remember

Has it really been almost five years?

Sometimes it seems longer

And yet in my moments of anguished tears

It seems yesterday, I did hear her

These past recent years have been so

Painfully empty and void

Of her sweet presence, her cheerful face

And her laughing voice.

Oh what did she last say? I sadly forgot

I am searching through the fog

Of my many memories of my childhood home

Where I was never all alone.

My blurred memories are like the many rooms

Of our two-story, century old house

Where in the years of clutter, a recollection is hidden

 like a treasure of precious gems.

She was always there spreading her love so

that there was nothing to be afraid of.

Like the scent of the freshest flowers, our house permeated

of her nurturing spirit and her gentle, soft voice.

Oh how I yearn to remember her comforting words,

Can’t I have that that wish, that one choice?

How I dream to hear her laughter and see her smiling

Once again. Oh, just one more time.

The foggy haze is still sticking and lingering in me

Not letting me remember or to see

And it won’t let me grasp what I long to know;

The last words she said on the phone.

Oh I do remember, soon Easter was coming

And I told her on the phone,

“In a few days I will see you, Mom.

In a few days I will come home.”

As we gaily chatted away, I continued,

“Mom, we’ll have a splendid Easter.

Work has granted me extra time off so

We’ll have four days together.”

But before Easter came and before

I could journey home

My mother suddenly passed away

In that big old house all alone.

She was so happy to talk to me on the phone

And joyful that I was coming to see her

Now the fog like a weakened storm has cleared

And in my mind her voice I could hear.

With an aching heart I remember my mother’s joyous tone,

 “I love you and I will see you soon.”

Friday Verse Journal James 1:22-24

 

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First a quick review on a scripture verse which I have already shared:

Proverbs 15:1 (Holy Bible New International Version):

“A gentle answer turns away anger but a harsh word stirs up wrath.”

In my self-indulgent foolishness last week, I had completely forgotten this little gem of a verse and allowed myself to become so angry to the point of being very harsh. I did not realize my own harshness until sometime later. But it was too late, my very strong words came out and no doubt.stirred up anger in others!! I was so shocked and dismayed at myself when I realized it. Talk about really messing up!! I did what I could to retract those terrible words and set things right. So as I pondered this  for days and asked God  for his forgiveness and to help me to not behave that way again, I was then reminded of this little jewel of wisdom which God meant for me to plant and keep in my mind and heart. How could I so soon forget what he was teaching me?

Well, then praying and pondering over my own forgetfulness, I was led to another verse which showed I needed to do better at committing these verses to my memory and my heart by living them out in my life:

James 1:22-24 (Holy Bible New International Version):

“Do not merely listen to the word and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like someone who looks at his face in a mirror and after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like.” 

And that is exactly what I did, I read God’s word, walked away and completely forgot what he just said. By his grace and with his help, I will commit myself to remembering what he has already taught me.